With Valentine’s Day approaching, being single, separated, or divorced can be like an open wound. The nagging question, “why am I still single?” might be a sore spot. In this Love & Life Antics’ Valentine’s Day love letter for singles, we will explore ten reasons to embrace unconditional self-acceptance.
Being single on Valentine’s Day can be tricky. The thought of flying solo can drag you down, but only if you let it. You’ll want to avoid this trap because you’re too bomb for that. Seriously!
I used to think God had placed me under a “special” curse because I was single. The outcome was me chasing whomever and whatever low-value person that presented to me.
However, with patience, I learned to embrace it, and it doesn’t hurt anymore. The wound is closed and healed. #Unconditional self-acceptance
If you want to safeguard against “getting caught out there” in an emotionally unavailable relationship, you’ll need first deal with your issues of emotional unavailability.
We must stop depending on romantic partners to validate our existence and instead cultivate unconditional self-acceptance, which is independent of our ideal life or the relationship that we covet.
When we are single for long stretches, we often treat it as drudgery and blame ourselves for not finding “the one.” If you haven’t discovered “the one” yet, maybe the message is that “the one” you’ve been missing is YOU.
Love Tip: Learn to be the lover that you desire in someone else. Often, people will be mirrors of how you treat YOU.
2 Pitfalls of Loathing the Single Life on V-day
Consider, whenever you feel defective about being single, you set yourself up for desperation, and you will either:
- Become involved with the first person that presents themselves to solve your love problems (although they may be unhealthy for you)
- Open the door to settling for less than what you deserve.
Why? When you feel defective about being single, you are not acknowledging your value and will gravitate towards people who will often reflect the same way you think of yourself.
During your relationship downtime, it’s so important to tap into The Lover Within (TLW)™. The only way to do that is to make peace with yourself by committing to improving your outlook on being single.
Here’s some encouragement.
The Love & Life Antics’ Valentine’s Day Love Letter for Singles: 10 Love Notes
The following list consists of 10 love notes for you. I hope it motivates you to stay encouraged while you are single and learning your love lessons.
Also, I hope you take the necessary downtime between relationships to heal. It’s time for us to offload the annoying self-imposed diagnosis of being a Relationship Leper.
Without further delay, here are some heartfelt love notes to all my single people out there 👇🏽
1. You are loveable because you are YOU!
Simple yet profound. This is regardless of your accomplishments, acquisitions, and romantic affiliations (or lack thereof). You have value just because you are you. Let that truth sink way down in your belly. Exhale it in and breathe it out! 😮💨
2. If you are not stuck pining about an EX who mistreated you, you are living your life as it should be, and that’s over them!
The fact that you are not pinning away for your EX (or whomever) on Valentine’s Day means that you are getting stronger and learning not to settle for an unhealthy relationship.
⚠️Word of Caution: If you’re thinking about reaching out to an Ex who didn’t value you, I suggest you re-think that strategy. You may be attempting to reopen a painful situation because you are trying to avoid being alone.
Gentle reminder: You’re too dope for that, so don’t even go there!
Call a friend, take a spa day, cry, and then get up and work it off at the gym. But whatever you do, stay far away from people that treat you like crap. Non-negotiable!
3. Every time you refuse to accept less than what you are worth, you get closer to what you want and deserve.
When you hold out for what you want, you send the message to your brain that you are breaking the pattern of lowball offers in your relationship and your life.
It’s called neuroplasticity. Your brain begins reorganizing in alignment with your core values, creating new healthy pathways for your brain. This then translates to behavior in line with your newly formed healthy beliefs👌🏽
4. You’re worth a whole lot (even without THEM)!
I’m a big proponent of wholeness. Wholeness means that when you enter a relationship, you enter it already meeting your needs. You don’t look for someone to shore up the gaps in your self-worth.
When you know how to fulfill your emotional needs, someone else doing it in a relationship only enhances what you can do for yourself. With this approach, you squelch any abandonment anxiety because you’re OK WITH YOU.🆗✔️
If they leave you or it ends, you will be sad, but you won’t fall apart. You will continue taking care of yourself. After all, loving you was your full-time job anyway (before they showed up, right?)
5. You’re not with them because they didn’t see your worth. It’s their loss (that is on them, not on you).
We hear and see this sage wisdom all the time littered on Instagram and Twitter. But some people either use it with an arrogant chip on their shoulder. They act like the best thang since sliced Wonder Bread and the Lord’s gift to humanity. That’s one extreme.
The other is to declare it at an intellectual level but not believe it from a heart level. Instead, we get all hurt when we get word that someone has gotten over us quicker than we’d like.
And God forbid we are single on V-day, but they are booed up. We become devastated and enraged.😡
We must stop taking someone moving on from us as The End of THE World. It’s their loss. Believe it. Not everyone HAS to value you. It would be best if you VALUE YOURSELF. That’s what matters most.
6. Learning how to be in a healthy relationship with yourself is better than being in a dysfunctional one with them.
You can bet your last penny that if the relationship is unhealthy, you will be alone with or without them. In unhealthy relationship dynamics, they will have a limited ability to connect with you in an emotionally healthy way. They will always amplify any loneliness you already feel.😭
7. Being single On Valentine’s Day [or any other day] is totally okay because people SHOULDN’T define you; YOU should define YOU.
To all my single people, being dolo (sorry, it’s the urban 90s in me) means this is the perfect opportunity to focus on your needs instead of expecting someone else to fulfill them. Light a candle and celebrate how uniquely and wonderfully made you are. Learn to be your own best friend. 🫂
8. You are single because it didn’t work with them, and some things just aren’t meant to work, which is okay.
Why are we so hell-bent on “making it work”? There is plenty of fish (and sharks) in the sea. You are simply weeding out the sharks. Hold out until you sink your teeth into a good catch. Let’s not complicate why things don’t work out. Something better is on the way. That’s why!💯
9. Authentic, healthy love takes time to find.
Pat yourself on the back because one day, if you are patient, you WILL manifest this kind of healthy love in the form of a physical partner of your choice (if you desire one).💑
If you treat yourself with care, kindness, respect, and patience, you will seek the same in someone else.
10. Count your blessings that THEY “loved you not.”
🔢Sometimes, we fail to realize that the universe or God is protecting our hearts. His blessings make you rich and add no sorrow. Chances are they gave you much grief and broke you down. For that, they need a swift exit to the left.
They just made room for the possibility of someone who will be able to reciprocate authentic, mutual, and healthy love in a better relationship with you.
Wrapping Things Up:
I hope you felt empowered as you soaked in this Valentine’s Day love letter for singles. As you grow comfortable in your skin, you will adopt healthy behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs that validate your worth.
Being single will get easier. I promise. I have been on my grown-and-single for over ten years by choice.😁
Once I started to deal with my own emotional unavailability, the smoke settled. For me, it’s no longer a gaping wound. I never thought I would say this, but I am content single. It’s become a lifestyle.
You don’t have to follow my path, but you do need to develop unconditional self-acceptance. Being in a relationship should not define your existence.
Sometimes you need to sit yourself down and write some good ole’ fashion love notes to remind yourself that you are okay, you can be whole, and you can survive WITH or WITHOUT the presence of a romantic relationship.
You can perceive being single on Valentine’s Day as a blessing or a curse. Sure, You can try to fill the void by negatively coping.
For example, tapping up your ex for some booty (for the moment), tapping someone else up for some tail (for the moment), or dating before you’ve healed enough and are ready to do so, etc.)
Or, you can get REAL, HEAL, and DEAL.
The best repellent for unhealthy relationships is acceptance of all of you. Gain confidence by seeing your “singleness” as a gift.
It’s important to remember that you are worthy of love and happiness, regardless of your relationship status. I hope this Valentine’s Day love letter for singles, from me to you, motivates you to celebrate your self-worth and spread love.
It’s time to embrace yourself with unconditional self-acceptance.
That’s your only option!🤗
Your thoughts and comments? What could you add to the list?
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